You see it flash across your feed, right? Two headlines, back-to-back. One’s about some crypto exchange, the other about a filmmaker. Both feature the word "Aster." My first thought, offcourse, was "Wait, did Ari Aster launch a damn blockchain? Is Hereditary now a decentralized asset?" Because, let's be real, in this clown show of a digital age, that wouldn't even crack the top ten weirdest things to happen this week.
But no. Two completely separate "Astres," both clawing for oxygen in a world that’s already choking on noise. And that, my friends, is the real story here. It ain't about crypto or cinema; it’s about the desperate, unceasing scream for attention that defines everything we do now.
The Crypto Aster: Another Flavor of Noise
First up, we got Coinbase adds Aster to listing roadmap – a decentralized perpetuals exchange, whatever the hell that means. Roadmap. Give me a break. That’s just corporate speak for "we’re thinking about it, maybe, if enough suckers get excited." It’s like a restaurant putting "Lobster Thermidor" on the menu board just to see if anyone asks for it before they actually buy the lobsters. They expect us to believe this nonsense, and honestly...
The fact sheet says this "signals increased institutional interest in decentralized trading protocols." Institutional interest. That’s always the kicker, ain't it? It’s never about the groundbreaking tech, the democratized finance, the revolution. Nah. It’s about whether the suits see a way to siphon off some profit. Aster could be run by a bunch of hamsters on a wheel, but if BlackRock whispers its name, suddenly it’s "innovative."
This ain't innovation; it’s a popularity contest with real money on the line. These "decentralized exchanges" are supposed to be the wild west, right? Untamed, free from the big players. But then a behemoth like Coinbase comes sniffing around, and suddenly everyone’s polishing their boots and trying to look respectable. It’s like watching a punk band sign with a major label and immediately start talking about "synergy." You can feel the soul draining away, can’t you? What’s the point of being "decentralized" if your ultimate goal is validation from the very centralized powers you supposedly rebelled against? And who actually benefits when these "roadmaps" lead to listings? Hint: It ain't the average Joe trying to get rich quick.
The Filmmaker Aster: Art or Just More Noise?
Then there's Ari Aster, the filmmaker. Now, I've got to admit, I respect the guy for making movies that aren't just bland, focus-grouped mush. His new flick, Eddington, sounds like it’s designed to punch you in the gut, to get under your skin. And apparently, it’s working. The source material gushes about how 'art that is provocative and gets a response is the best'. I mean, yeah, sure, I get it. I’ve written plenty of columns that got people talking – usually about how much they hate my guts.
But here’s the thing: the article celebrates Aster standing on stage, reading a negative review of his own movie. Reading it! As if that’s some profound act of artistic bravery. Look, I’m all for embracing the haters, but does it really take a genius to know that if you make a movie about "COVID and America and violence and corporate greed and social media," it's gonna piss some people off? It’s not exactly rocket science to provoke a reaction when you're literally jabbing every raw nerve in the national psyche. It’s like a kid poking a beehive and then being surprised when he gets stung.
The article praises him for not "playing it safe." And I agree, safety is boring. But is "provocation" now the only metric for artistic success? Is the goal simply to generate "hot takes" and "arguments"? I’ve been in Q&As where the air was thick with tension, the director’s jaw tight as someone challenged their vision—you could practically hear the nervous coughs in the crowd. That’s real. This... this feels less like genuine artistic defiance and more like a carefully managed PR stunt to amplify the buzz. "Oh, he's so brave for acknowledging the negative!" No, he's just playing the game. It’s all part of the same attention economy, isn't it? The more outrage, the more clicks, the more relevant you seem. Then again, maybe I’m just a crank, and people really do want their art to feel like a Twitter pile-on.
Ultimately, whether we're talking about a crypto exchange or a dark indie film, everyone’s just trying to stand out in a world where everything blends into a beige blur. They’re both trying to be the loudest voice in the room, hoping that enough people notice to keep the lights on. It’s a desperate race, and the finish line is just... more noise.
